Office Duties
by alifestylechoice
Summary: “I’ve seen you take a freaking knife to the chest, but it appears that you, sensei, are a little weenie when threats to your sexuality arise.” Naruto becomes Hokage, and everything goes about as smooth as sandpaper. Kakasaku Kakashi/Sakura
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Office Duties (1/3)  
**Author:** alifestylechoice   
**Fandom:** Naruto (Kakashi/Sakura)   
**Rating:** PG-13/R (Language. This could change later.)  
**Words:** 2,790  
**Summary:** "I've seen you take a freaking knife to the chest, but it appears that you, sensei, are a little weenie when threats to your sexuality arise."

_A/N: Something I've been working on, and the next two parts are written, but not beta'd, as I don't have one. I also need time to make edits myself, which may take a bit of time with my schedule, but please bear with me._

_I had a lot of fun with this; I hope you will too :D._

**Office Duties**

When Naruto became Hokage at the ripe age of twenty-four, Tsunade gave him her blessings, a tour of the office, and a few reassuring pats on the back. Many "I'm too old"s and "Your generation is blossoming"s and "Piece of cake"s were offered. She even shut down the entire city of Konoha for three days dedicated to festivities that would declare Naruto as the new Rokudaime, the youngest and most spirited in history. There was food, hot women, dancing, hot women dancing with food. It was quite a spectacle, and the whole town roared with cheers when Naruto's proud face was revealed on the mountain alongside his father's and the leaders of the past.

Sakura was probably the loudest and most earnest among the crowd. For one, the celebration meant three whole days off before she had to reinstate her position as the Hokage's assistant (Naruto wouldn't have it any other way). This also meant that because she was not working, she was engaging liberally in her shishou's favorite pastime; the one that wasn't gambling.

So, it was no surprise that when the festivities were over, Sakura sat up straight the next morning, jumped out of bed and dove headfirst into the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach over the past three days of being perpetually sloshed. She somehow maneuvered her body into the shower, managed not to drown herself, got dressed with all her clothes right side out, and downed an entire pot of coffee before making her way to work. The day was warm and sun-shiny, and she cursed the sun for being so damn bright and the neighborhood children for playing so damn happily. And loudly.

Her salutation to the guards at the Hokage's office was something between a growl and a cough, and she pushed past them to get to her desk.

She was greeted to the sight of Naruto and half the population of Konoha passed out in the middle of the room.

"Oh, come the hell on," muttered Sakura warily. She tip toed over Chouji's hand (still holding half of a fried pickle) and shimmied past Kiba and Shino (who were…cuddling? Don't ask, don't ask…) to crouch down in front of Naruto, shirt up to his armpits and exposing his belly. It was kind of cute. In a way.

She shook his shoulder. "Naruto," she whispered fiercely.

"Uumphhhh, I love you, Pakkun…" he mumbled.

"Naruto, seriously. Wake up. You've got a lot to do today; you have a meeting with the elders in three hours, and then we have budget meetings with just about every—"

He lifted his head from the desk to look at her, smiled, then threw up on her shoes. The nice red ones Ino gave her for her birthday last year.

Fantastic.

She commended herself for her composure as she smiled curtly, clearing the room (forcibly or not) of everyone except for the Hokage himself who she managed to clean up a bit and sit upright at his desk. She put on the extra pair of rain boots she kept in the office for emergencies (she supposed this was one of them), and addressed the new all-mighty leader of Konoha, who was putting on a very convincing guilty face.

"Sakura-chan, I'm so sorry about your shoes—" he began.

"Don't worry about it, Naruto," she said, smiling as sweetly as possible. Good god, her head.

"Well, I'm the Hokage, I'm probably kind of rich, right? I'll buy you a new pair of shoes, okay? I could put it in the budget…thing. That'd be good, right!?"

She opened her mouth, then, closed it. She knew that Naruto knew little about money beyond that having it was good and not having it was not as good, but as it was, it appeared he needed more help than what she could offer. She had become quite the expert at abbreviating paperwork with tiny copy by the time her shishou had retired, but that was because Tsunade was purely lazy; Naruto, however, just seemed to not…know. At all.

Her eyes scanned over the numerous budget proposals from different departments within the system, mission scrolls, follow-up reports, accounting records, invoices—all scattered across the desk like playing cards. Really, really important, official and future-determining playing cards. And Naruto was that one odd man out that you get to play solely because he's gullible and all his money is in your pockets by the end of the night.

Sakura sighed. "I think we might need to hire some extra help. Just to start. And yes, you have the money to do that."

"I can do it, Sakura!" Naruto assured, his eyes opening fully for the first time that day. "I can find someone! So you don't have to worry about it. We just need someone who's good with numbers and stuff, right?"

"Experience preferred, but not necessary," she said. At this rate, anyone, really. "I'm going to go downstairs to get some coffee, you want any?"

"No, everybody says I don't need any—"

"Right, right. Back in a minute."

Morecoffeemorecoffeemorecoffee…waking up for Sakura was becoming increasingly difficult because of the jackhammers that resided in her temples. She drudged up to the kitchen and poured half the (probably expired) coffee into the filter. As it dripped (too, too slowly) into the pot she felt a brief pang of sadness in her chest…she missed Tsunade.

She then remembered that shishou was tanning her retired ass on some glorious deserted island with no one to tell her where to or why for, and that sadness quickly reverted itself into resentment.

Genma strolled into the kitchen as Sakura began stirring the cream into her coffee. Vigorously.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he greeted, using one arm to hoist himself onto the counter.

"Good morning, Genma," she replied. "Want some coffee?"

"Nope, don't think that'd be a good idea."

She scoffed and turned to him. "Why noooooooohhhh my god!"

Gemna smiled at her, his teeth a pale pink, most likely because both lips were split down the middle, bleeding into his mouth and down the front of his jounin vest. Although grinning like an idiot, the hand holding his equally bloody side was shaking in pain. To her additional horror, his signature senbon was still in place at the side of his mouth.

Sakura grabbed some napkins off the counter and moistened them under the sink water. "You look like some kind of busted jack o'lantern. Tell me what happened and why the _hell_ you're not at the hospital right now!"

"Well, we were coming back from Suna after delivering a message for Gaara-sama, and I guess some rogue nin decided to shoot the goddamn messenger. Gave us a little trouble, but we made it back in all right shape. The air's humid as hell these days and we had to move around a lot, so the blood hasn't been clotting too good, I'm afraid." He leaned back as Sakura dabbed at the dried blood on his lips. Genma grinned.

"Don't be expecting to get a little rowdy just because it's my lips that need fixing," he said with a smirk.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I'll try to restrain myself." She unbuttoned his vest. "Arms up, and stop _smiling_ like that, asshole."

Genma complied, pressing his lips together, his eyes shining. "I don't know what you're talking about—god_damnit_, what did you just do?"

"I just touched your ribs, of which three are fractured. Go to the hospital. And get that stupid thing out of your mouth."

"But can't you just do your magical glowy fingers jutsu and—"

"Genma, I've got other things to do before my shift at the hospital. I'll be there around four at the clinic if you want to wait, but I don't see why you should when there are plenty of other doctors who can do the procedure just the same."

"But, none of the other doctors are so cunning and charming to this poor old man."

"That's because they know better. Now get the hell out. And be sure to get your mission report in asap."

She helped him lower himself off the counter. He took a moment to rebalance his weight before hobbling over to the elevator.

"Oh, who was with you on the mission?" Sakura called after him, taking the first monumental sip of her coffee.

"Who else? The only other one who won't go to the goddamn hospital. He's gonna be pissed when I tell him you won't fix us—"

By the time he turned to her, she was already halfway down the stairs.

"Oh, are you _serious?!"_ he yelled after her, exasperated, but she was flying down the stairs, three at a time.

When she reached the bottom level, she bolted out the front doors, expecting something akin to a large pool of blood and random severed body parts, but instead found nothing but a few groups of people staring at her like they'd just seen a ghost.

"What, I got up late this morning! Go on, then!" she yelled. Her gawkers scampered away, and she huffed, cocking her hip to the side and smoothing her hair with her fingers.

"S'like people've never woken up on the wrong side of the bed before," she muttered to herself.

"Yeah, but not many of them have blood across their blouses or wear rain boots in June."

She turned at the familiar impassive voice and found Kakashi leaning heavily on the front of the building. In a glance, she assessed his physical condition, and immediately bent down in front of his broken leg.

"Sakura, I think this is a bit inappropriate, out in the open like this—"

"Can it, sensei. How the hell'd you make it back with your leg like this?" Her fingers tingled as she molded chakra carefully, rebuilding the bone particles in his thigh.

"Oh, well, you know, I had Genma to sort of lean on, and of course we don't get any strange looks being two men, one carrying the other princess-style through the gates..."

She snorted. "Was Kotetsu up there?"

"I had the pleasure of both Tweedledee and Tweedledum making an appearance. The part where Genma mentioned we'd had a 'rough night' was surely not ammunition for blackmail or anything."

"I've seen you take a freaking knife to the chest, but it appears that you, sensei, are a little weenie when threats to your sexuality arise."

"Don't use the word 'sexuality' and 'sensei' in the same sentence ever again, please. Makes me feel like an old pervert or something."

"Well, if the shoe fits."

"Ah, I guess I left myself wide open on that one."

"Just hold still a minute, I'm almost done."

"Shit!" he shouted suddenly, jerking his leg away.

"What??" she gasped, jumping back.

"That fucking _tickles_—"

"Oh, stop it, I am almost done!" She held his leg in place with one arm wrapped tightly around it, and she spun chakra with her other hand, fingers lightly tapping against his (very, very sensitive) thigh.

She worked quickly, but not too quickly, for moments like this happened so rarely. Time stopped when she wasn't thinking about texts or research or deadlines and she had a normal conversation with someone who could finish her sentences so she didn't have to think too hard. Kakashi had been her mission partner for years before she officially took the position as the Hogake's assistant, and she missed the camaraderie and closeness she'd felt as part of a team.

In thinking about it, she supposed this was the first mission that Kakashi had taken without her _or_ Naruto in quite some time, and she wondered if he felt like they had abandoned him.

"You're pretty serious all of a sudden," he said, his voice seemingly flippant. But, by now, Sakura could look underneath the underneath and see the layers of concern and unease in his statement that only two people can sense from each other when they've witnessed one another's lowest.

"Just thinking about things." She stood and released his leg, standing to check the rest of his body. She poked around his ribs, as he automatically lifted his arms.

"Hm. That's not vague at all."

"How's your eye doing?" she said, pulling a flashlight from her shirt pocket and shining it in his normal eye.

"Well, it burns a bit now—"

"Your other eye, smartass.

"Same as always."

"You _would_ tell me if it was giving you problems, right?

"Yes, dear. Can I put my arms down now?"

"Yeah, you're done." She playfully patted his stomach twice (a little too hard—his arms came down quickly to grasp his abdominals) and admired her handiwork. "Leg feels good?"

"Dandy," he replied, applying weight to his newly healed leg. He leaned back against the building for support. "How's Naruto doing up there?"

"Well, so far, he's proven that he can't hold his liquor and he has no concept of money. I guess it could be worse."

"Ah. Well, you'll set him straight up there."

"We'll see, I guess. It _is_ only day one."

There was a pregnant pause, and the wind started to pick up, relief from the heat. Sakura pulled the hair from her face and they enjoyed each other's company in silence. Kakashi looked down at her and noted the tender signs of aging across her face, which he decided was both a little sad and really quite lovely. She was ten years too young for stress headaches and dark under eye circles. But he looked at her now—tired eyes, a white streak in her hair, stained baggy clothes, and odd footwear—and saw someone stunning.

But, he was ten years too old to love her, so he said nothing, observing in the quiet.

"I think I miss doing fieldwork," Sakura said, twisting a piece of hair between her fingers thoughtfully.

"Hm," replied Kakashi, ignoring the fluttering in his stomach. "I could use a medic, you know."

"Obviously," she muttered under her breath.

"Oh, what was that?"

She grinned. Her headache was starting to face. "Not yet, though. Naruto's in big trouble if we don't find some—" She paused and stood straight, smacking her hand to her forehead (in turn, bringing her headache back full force). "Shit, I asked Naruto to find some help. God knows where he's off to by now—"

"God_damnit_, I cannot believe you did your glowy fingers on Hatake and I've gotta hobble my gimp ass all over the damn city," Genma shouted at them, emerging from the front doors.

"Come on, sweetheart, let's take you to the doctor and get you a lollypop," Kakashi said, offering his shoulder, over which Genma shot Sakura a sharp glare.

"You can take that lollypop and shove it up your—"

"Good-bye, lovebirds!" Sakura called out after them, this time earning her twin glares of death. Inner Sakura cackled away as she walked back into the building,

Her spirits were high as she pushed through the doors of the Hokage's office to find her desk moved to the dark corner of the room, and a brand new desk sitting directly next to the Hokage's. And, behind it, a brand new…very attractive woman.

Oh, God, Naruto.

Sakura's eyebrow began a familiar twitch, and the aforementioned jackhammers were replaced by volcanoes. Several volcanoes erupting simultaneously. On top of jackhammers. She scoffed, looking the abomination across the room with disbelief. _She probably wears the suit and glasses so people take her more seriously_, Sakura thought.

"You know, I usually wear a suit and glasses so people take me more seriously," said the nameless woman to the Hokage, who was currently taking an interest in her rather large chest, in said suit.

Sakura's fingers immediately reached for her face to massage her sinus areas, under grave pressure. Her shishou always made the best decisions, and making Naruto the Rokudaime was definitely one of them. She hoped to god.

"Oy! Sakura-chan!" Naruto called to her. She was amazed that his eyes unstuck themselves long enough to notice her entrance.

"Good morning. I see you found us some help?"

"Rika-chan works at the takoyaki stand next to the tea shop!" said Naruto, excitedly. "So, she handles money all the time!"

"Right," said Sakura. "Great."

"I have to keep everything really organized!" piped up Rika, eyes bright and vapid. "The takoyaki sticks are on the left, and the money is on the right! Or…maybe the sticks are on the right…and the money is even more on the right—"

"How about we show Rika how to process the mission reports?" Sakura suggested quickly.

Naruto nodded with vigor. "Whatever you say, Sakura-chan!"

It was the smartest thing he'd said all morning.

-tbc-

_Thanks for reading--please review if you have the time!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Office Duties (2/3)  
**Author:** alifestylechoice   
**Fandom:** Naruto (Kakashi/Sakura)   
**Rating:** PG-13/R (Language. This could change later.)  
**Words:** 3,821  
**Summary:** "Right. Tell him to meet me in the lobby when he's done talking. And you're done seething."

_A/N: I have 2 quick notes:_

_1. A few people asked about the white streak in Sakura's hair, and how old exactly she is. I view her in this as being in her mid-twenties. Like many others who tend to lead lives that throw them many curveballs (or, you know, huge, life-altering boulders), or those who are lucky enough for it to be hereditary, we gray __**quickly**__. I've had a silver streak in my hair since I was 17—I've just dyed it over for so long, no one has seen it. One day, I hope to be as hip and cool as Stacy London and be able to rock the streak._

_2. I would like to admit that I get full on __**wasted**__ on an embarrassingly small amount of alcohol, and know many others (especially other Asian females, I've noticed…) are the same way. What can I say; I'm a cheap date. And so is Sakura in this next part._

_Well, now that that's out of the way, things get a little more serious, but I intend for this to be my chance to write something that's mostly just silly and fun. Enjoy!_

**Office Duties**

Part Two

Sakura arrived at the pub later than expected, pulling her hair up into a ponytail as she pushed through the doors with her hip. Her face was probably flushed and her under-eye circles were most likely darker than ever, but she knew her company was even less particular about outward appearances. He sat in the corner as usual, thumbing through a worn Icha Icha Lovestruck!.

"Reading the classics again?" she greeted Kakashi, pulling up a chair.

"Only the good parts," he replied looking up. He motioned to the beer in front of her spot at the table. "Should still be cold."

"Thanks," she said, and immediately chugged all of it, slammed the empty bottle down on the table and slouched a somewhat inappropriate amount in her chair. "Another, please!" she shouted into the air. The bartender raised an eyebrow her way before sliding another down the bar.

"Rough day?" Kakashi asked, a small smile tugging at his lips that she could detect in his eye. He handed her the beer and she cradled it lovingly.

"You could say that." The air was beginning to feel heavy and warm. Hooray.

"Emergency surgery at the end of your shift, I'm assuming?"

"Of course."

"Terribly inconvenient."

"I'll say," she muttered. "Plus, I was about to string Naruto up by his stupid neck this morning."

"Well, you don't have to bring his poor neck into it—"

"You don't just go up to the elders and _yell at them_ to get their attention. They're, like, four hundred years old. Each. I'm surprised they didn't die right then. And, of course, who gets the slack for that?" She puffed up her chest—the sudden movement making her head spin a little—and pursed her lips. "'Haruno-san, as assistant to the Hokage, it is your duty to assure he acts in an appropriate manner suited for his position.' Are you _kidding _me?"

"Naruto a bit too much to handle?"

She paused only to finish off her second beer; Kakashi had already motioned to the bartender for another. "Logistics, Kakashi. You know. Change of power. That little thing that some people don't even see in their _lifetime_. It can be a little complicated."

"Well, it's a good thing that you found that nice girl to help pick up the pieces."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at Kakashi, who dared mention the source of her ongoing rage. "Don't even get me started on whasserboobs—"

"I'm sure you've made Rika-san feel very welcome, as usual."

"Oh, yeah, I'm monogramming her some towels."

Kakashi sighed. "Sakura."

Sakura's grip around the bottle tightened. "It's like trying to train a farm animal. She's like Naruto's own personal ass-kisser. No wonder he loves her."

"Well, I'm sure that probably helps."

"Oh, I would love to just strangle that perfect little neck of hers."

"Do you usually contemplate other people's necks—"

"She just _stood_ there, like—_cheering_ Naruto on like he's some kind of hero for opposing the elders. About academy policy, of all things. Like he hasn't been doing _that_ since he was ten."

A new beer had appeared in front of her by some epic miracle, and she took another swig. Kakashi leaned forward in his chair, swishing his drink around in its glass.

"Give her some credit. She's only been there—how long?"

"Two months. Two. Fucking. Glorious. Months."

"She went from working at the takoyaki stand to the Hokage's office. She's not completely failing at the job, and I'm sure that filing mission reports is nothing less than tedious."

"Why are you sticking up for her?"

He sighed, eyes half-lidded. "Never mind. Man, what a bitch."

"That's what I thought." Her brow furrowed. "Really, no one should have to lean over_ that_ many ties to adjust a shoe strap. We got more than a few questionable stares today while her rack was hanging out. I don't put it past Naruto to invent some kind of shoe-undoing jutsu, that little twerp."

She glanced over at Kakashi who sat patiently, eyes on her. Pressing her lips together, she took a moment to breathe out, her skin tingly.

"Every week, I just sit down and start whining. It's probably a fair bit annoying. Sorry."

He wanted to tell her that, believe it or not, it was this time every week he looked forward to. Sakura's distresses revolved around office drama and keeping up with an unruly Hokage. Kakashi had vowed long ago to make sure these were her only problems. At her age, he knew too well of death and loss. "Drink," said, raising his glass.

She lifted her beer and clinked it against his cup. "Can't say no to that." She finished off her third while Kakashi sipped quietly.

The bar was fairly empty that night, save for a few stragglers that Sakura didn't recognize. There were more and more people in town she didn't recognize. She supposed this was because these days, she tended to spend all her time with either the Hokage or the sick and elderly. Which is why, Sakura sadly concluded, these late-night drinks with her former sensei were starting to seem an awful lot like "dates," a term she hadn't used in relation to herself in quite some time. (Or, it could all be the reasoning of beer-on-an-empty-stomach.) However, Sakura considered herself to be a logically sound person, and she construed that a jounin (such as herself) and another jounin (such as Kakashi) could most definitely sit down for drinks at least once a week and not be romantically involved under any circumstances. Even if said other jounin happened to be particularly good-looking without his usual mask—

Oh, oh god. Abort. Abort this train of thought. Sakura looked up and realized that Kakashi had been staring at her intently this entire time.

"Thinking about how handsome the tabletop looks in the candlelight?" he deadpanned.

She broke out into a slight blush (he had _no idea_ how close his remark was) and turned away to hide the dusty pink of her cheeks. "Another please!" she called out. She quickly maneuvered their conversation somewhere else (thinking and talking weren't her strong suit, at the moment.) "So, your next mission leaves day after tomorrow. Naruto seems to think you'll be gone for at least few days."

"I doubt it. Should be boring." He sat back as the bartender delivered a fourth round, and left.

"Considering the alternative, I'd just take the paycheck and quit the bellyaching."

"Hm, who was apologizing to me just a moment ago for whining? Some drunk girl, I thought—"

"Please. It takes me at least three to feel even _remotely_ tipsy." To demonstrate, she tipped back her head and downed half the bottle, wiping her mouth with the back of her forearm. Which was very, very wet, actually…

"Really. Then, missing your mouth is just a party trick."

"You didn't see that," she muttered, taking a napkin and blotting beer from the shoulder of her hospital scrubs.

"Nope," he said. He watched her face screw up into a knot as she tugged at her damp clothes. It reminded him of the time when he and Sakura were coming back from a successful mission in Iwa, and a bird had single-handedly ruined it all with a fly-by crap on Sakura's shoulder. He couldn't help it when a chuckle escaped his lips.

Sakura slumped forward, her head buried in folded arms. "If you're thinking about that time in Iwa, I will hit you. Really, really hard."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lying isn't very attractive, Kakashi."

"Neither is being drunk. But, you happen to be one of the few who can remain very attractive while utterly tanked, which is commendable."

Sakura was thankful that her expression was hidden in her arms; her forehead and the rest of her face felt hot against her skin. Sometimes, their conversations would wander into this certain territory that made her stomach simultaneously warm and uneasy, and all the logic she ever relied upon would fail her miserably.

"I think I need to go home," she said to the surface of the table. "Walk me, please?"

Kakashi smiled, nodding. He tossed some cash onto the bar, waving good-bye to the bartender and hoisting Sakura to her feet. His arm around her waist felt a little too good for her intoxicated brain, and she wiggled away slowly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "That's fine, I don't need help. Just company."

Their walk to Sakura's apartment was quiet and uneventful, Kakashi walking a bit behind her with hands in his pockets. The night air was cool, and he lowered his mask to breathe the crisp air. She caught all this in her peripheral vision, but said nothing about it. Their conversation was sparse, but light in nature ("Did you just fake inebriation it so I'd have to pay the tab?" "If there weren't three of you right now, I'd deck you.")

When they arrived at her house, she took out her keys and her eyes crossed. "God damn keys all look alike," she murmured.

Her back stiffened as she felt his arms envelop her. He threaded his fingers through hers and began manipulating her keys. Her back was flat against his chest, and she felt his breath soft against her cheek. A spark shot down her spine into the pit of her belly, and her head felt lighter than what any amount of alcohol could do.

"The square one, right?" Pressed against him, she could feel his voice reverberate through her body, and she simply nodded. He maneuvered her fingers around her house key and stepped back, breaking the spell for a moment.

"Thanks," she said, a big pile of awkward. "Um, good luck on your mission. I'll see you tomorrow for your meeting with Naruto."

He smirked. "Okay, mother."

She laughed, and snorted a little. Classy. "Maybe we should meet somewhere else next time. Somewhere that is far, far away from alcohol."

"Oh, but what would be the fun in that?" he said, winking.

She punched him lightly on the shoulder. "I'm glad you're having such a big time making me look like an ass.

"You don't look like an ass, I promise." He smiled his crooked grin that only she and a choice few had ever seen. Traces of stubble littered his jaw line, and before she could become too captivated with the little scar on the side of his nose, she turned away from him, letting out a laugh that was barely a breath.

"Well, then I take back what I said," she replied, stepping into the doorway. "You're very attractive, even when you're lying."

She hastily ran inside and shut the door. Kakashi remained outside, contemplating what had just taken place, holding the bridge of his nose between his fingers. A shift had taken place in their relationship, but she was obviously as tentative as he was. He wondered if he had made a mistake, and her quick escape was an indication that he had done something very wrong, and had inadvertently pushed her away forever.

He then heard the distinct sound of Sakura retching into the toilet, and knew this wasn't the case.

He shook his head, a smile creeping back onto his face. It was happening more often, the more time he spent with her, and he wasn't too sure how he felt about it. Readjusting his mask (the air had gotten a bit suffocating, for a moment), he took off towards his apartment. He was too old to be playing chase; the next move would have to be Sakura's.

* * *

The following day, Sakura arrived at the Hokage's office and inspected herself in the ladies' room mirror. General stream of consciousness containing anything from insults ("Did you really get drunk after four beers?"), to reasoning ("At least there's no hangover once you turn your stomach inside out") to bewilderments ("Is that _more_ white hair?!") to admittances ("Your eyes are going to be puffy forever, as long as Naruto is Hokage") occurred, as they did every morning.

She sighed heavily, pushing her bangs to the side and walked towards the door.

Which swung forward and slammed into her (still, too large) forehead.

"Son of a…"

"Oh, Sakura-san, I'm so sorry!"

Sakura threw her back against the wall, leaning her (pounding) head against the cool tile wall. Rika stood in the doorway, hand over mouth.

"Sakura-san, I am so, so, so sorry, I didn't see you there—"

"Clearly," Sakura replied, pressing the offended area.

"Is there anything I can get you? " Rika fumbled in her purse. "I've got some aspirin—"

"Unless you've got a new face for me in there, I don't think that's really necessary."

"Or, I can go downstairs and get you a cup of coffee, one sugar and a half-inch of cream, the way you like…?"

Sakura cracked open her eyes and breathed in and out. Slowly. Patience and toleration at eight AM was rather difficult when the desire to throttle another human being was so very immense.

"Listen, don't worry about it. Coffee's great. Thanks."

"Okay, I'll go now! I'm so, so sorry!" Rika backed out of the bathroom and took off down the hallway, each sharp click of her high heels on the floor like an additional nail being lodged in Sakura's brain. She stepped out into the hallway, rubbing her temples.

"I work my ass off, and what do I get in return?" she asked herself, closing her eyes and willing the pain to leave. "Blunt objects flying at my face. What the hell."

"Hard work's overrated."

She turned to see Genma strolling down the hall, Kakashi not too far behind. She ignored the warm, tickly feeling in her stomach and scrunched her face into a scowl. "As if the day couldn't get any worse."

"A delight, as always," Genma noted, rolling the senbon in his mouth from one side to the other.

"Well, at least you're on time, and you-know-who didn't get lost on the road of life again." She motioned to Kakashi.

"Miracles happen." Genma rolled his eyes.

Kakashi coughed. "I'm here, you know."

She smiled and turned down the hall. "Walk with me; I'll let you in."

She remembered her days as a genin when she dreamed about walking these very halls as an elite Konoha ninja. Now that this tower was like her second home, she couldn't help but think that somewhere along the way, her dream became a bit skewed. Perhaps she _would_ return to field duty, when Naruto was ready.

Upon opening the door and finding Naruto leaning back in his desk chair, chewing on a takoyaki stick and staring with great intent at the ceiling, she could say with sad certainty that this wouldn't be anytime soon. Naruto looked over, waved, opened his mouth to speak, and immediately choked on the wooden stick in his mouth.

_I can't even make this shit up_, Sakura thought woefully, walking over to Naruto and whapping him on the back a few times.

Genma laughed a little, nodding in her direction. "You've got your work cut out for ya, sweetheart," he said.

"Naruto, Kakashi and Genma are here to meet with you. You also have a meeting with Ibiki-san at nine-thirty, so please wear the hat—"

"It's a stupid hat," Naruto muttered between pitiful wheezes.

"And while you're in the meeting, I'll find Rika and we'll go over the reports for June—"

"Sakura-san, here's your coffee!" Rika exclaimed, tearing past Kakashi and Genma to safely deliver a fresh mug of coffee to Sakura's desk. "They didn't have cream, so I had to run over to the convenience store, so I'm a little late, and I'm so, so sorry about before—"

"Thank you, Rika," Sakura said, slightly embarrassed. "These gentlemen here were just here to see—"

"Oh, god, I hope you didn't have to wait too long!" she said, standing up straight and adjusting the (very short) hem of her skirt. "I'm Rika, and I hope we can get to know each other better while I'm here—"

"Ah, this is Rika-san," Genma said, senbon bobbing. He whacked Sakura on the back. "Sakura-san has been _raving_ about you."

Rika beamed at Sakura, unbelieving. "_Really!?_ Thank you, Sakura-san!"

"Really, it was nothing," Sakura deadpanned, shooting a venomous glare at Genma from the corner of her eye. She desperately looked over to Kakashi for help, but he had apparently become intrigued with a potted plant in the corner of the room.

"Rika, can you come take notes for me in this meeting?" Naruto piped up, hat in place and sitting up straight. "Genma and Kakashi are two of the village's most respected nin, and I need to make sure they are given all the necessary information before they set out on this next mission."

Kakashi immediately turned around and Genma tucked his senbon into a pouch attached to his leg. Rika turned to Naruto and nodded, taking her place at the desk next to him.

"Yes, of course, Hokage-sama," said Rika, and the four reconvened at the Hokage's desk to discuss the mission details.

Sakura smiled and fell back into her chair, taking her first sips of morning coffee. Naruto may not have known how to balance a budget, but he understood the influence of the Hokage's position quite well, and took to the leadership aspects of his new role with a stride that allowed Sakura to breathe a sigh of relief.

Now, if only she could pluck his eyes off of Rika's ass, everything would be peachy.

She turned her attention to gathering Ibiki's budget proposals for the nine-thirty meeting, and debated what color paper-clip would be suitable for a letter to Gaara-sama. The morning coffee threw her into high gear and she was just about to hit her stride when a figure loomed over her desk.

"What is it, Shiranui?" Sakura said, continuing to loot through the crap that had piled up in her desk drawers. Ooh, there was a coupon that hadn't expired—maybe she'd go there for lunch…

"Nothin'. Hatake's takin' his sweet time." Genma leaned on her desk, picking at his cuticles.

"Secret meeting with Naruto, huh?" Ah, she knew she had a pink clip.

"Nope. Looks like he's talkin' up your new best friend."

Sakura's eyes immediately whipped over to the scene to her left where a certain shinobi leaned with his weight on one leg—a leg she had just glowy-fingered two months ago, no less—speaking quite personably to the blushing girl in grown-up clothes. Sakura had to admit that her interest was piqued, and her eyebrow raised in annoyed curiosity. The warm tingly feeling in her stomach now morphed into what felt like a ten-pound brick to the gut. She was a little confused, and, admittedly, a little angry, but these feelings had roots in something unfamiliar to her.

She could be…jealous?

No. No, she was not jealous; that was absurd. One brief, drunken admittance of possible mutual attraction did not give reason for jealousy. In all honesty, Sakura had to confess to herself that even if she was jealous (of which she really, really was not, at all, period), she didn't have the experience necessary to understand where these feelings came from.

But, Sakura knew a great deal about rage, so she was decidedly pissed. Being pissed was easy.

"Yes," she said with. Great. Restraint. "It appears he is. Well, Genma, good luck, and I hope you come back unharmed from your journey."

"Yeah, good thing my medic is so kind and attentive," he remarked, narrowing his eyes at her.

However, Sakura's glare was focused on the offending source, the pink paper clip folded three times over in her fingers. "We have a lot of work to do this morning, so if you wouldn't mind just moving along, that'd be outstanding."

Genma hopped off her desk and a smile gripped the corner of his mouth; he could see the purpose in Sakura's eyes, even if she couldn't just yet. "Right. Tell him to meet me in the lobby when he's done talking. And you're done seething."

"Sure," she answered, not particularly listening. As Genma left, Kakashi exchanged a few more words with Rika. Sakura watched with intent the exchange of papers between them (those had better be _just_ recipes) and the way Rika played nervously with the ends of her hair as he waved his farewell.

Sakura ensured she was glued to her paperwork when Kakashi returned to her desk.

"Looks like things up here are going smoothly for now," he said to her, tucking his mission scroll in his vest pocket.

"Mmhmm," she said. It was quite possible for her to re-break the leg she had carefully put back together, wasn't it, now?

"Should be back before next week though."

"Mmhmm."

"So, I'll find you when I get back."

"Sure."

"Right. Only this time, if Genma needs a clean-up, you think you can help him out? He was a bit sore about what you did last time."

"Mmhmm."

Kakashi paused and took careful note of how her hands flexed against each other and how she dug through her papers with an enthusiasm only demonstrated when she wanted to avoid eye contact. He had seen it before in the way she fiddles with her clipboard when delivering unfortunate news to her patients, and when she was twelve and cracking all the joints in her fingers was suddenly quite interesting when a certain Uchiha boy was around.

He was aware that she was evading communication with him, and, like most things women did, he could not even pretend to know the reasoning behind it.

"So…nothing's wrong?" he tried.

"Nope, everything's fine."

"Because, for a minute there, you weren't actually speaking words, just the same thing over and over—"

"Just busy. You know, babysitting the Hokage, wrangling ninja, putting bones back together. Schedule gets a bit wacky."

He nodded. "All right. Bye for now."

If she had looked up right then, she might have seen the hint of melancholy in his eye that she could read like a book. But, by the time she did, there were only leaves and smoke.

She sat at her desk and laid her head in her arms. This day had already left a sour taste in her mouth, and it was barely nine in the morning.

Time dragged all day long between Rika's high-pitched chatter and Naruto's insistent need to shout most everything he said. By the time Sakura left for her shift at the hospital, shoving her head in the toilet bowl seemed like a better way to pass the time. At least it was quiet.

She slogged down the stairs, and passed a familiar figure face down asleep on a bench in the lobby.

"Oh, crap, I forgot to tell him to meet Genma in the lobby…"

_-tbc-_

_Thanks for reading--please review if you have the time!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Office Duties (3/4)   
**Author:** alifestylechoice    
**Fandom:** Naruto (Kakashi/Sakura)  
**Rating:** PG-13/R (Language. This could change later.)   
**Words:** 5,486   
**Summary:** "Rika, my usual company is a ramen-obsessed Hokage, a horny, orally-fixated old man, and an anti-social, one-eyed, no-faced porn reader. And people wonder why I'm single."

_A/N: __So, I'm very sorry, but I tried to pack everything into one last chapter as planned, but it was just too hefty so...I'm a big fat liar, and this will be in four parts instead of three. Please forgive me! I've decided to make it up with a smutty one-shot I've been playing around with for a few days. That'll be up soon, too, as well as the last part of Office Duties (I promise, it's the last part, for reals). Enjoy!_

* * *

**Office Duties  
Part Three**

As an apology, Sakura agreed to buy Genma a drink, and they left directly for the pub after her shift at the hospital, in spite of the complaints of her current state (bloody scrubs, sexy). As they sat down, Sakura noted that she had shown up to the bar nearly every night since Naruto had taken office; the shots were going down smoothly, and beer was strangely starting to taste like water.

"Genma, I think I'm an alcoholic," she mused, taking a seat at the corner table that was usually reserved for her and her ex-sensei.

"Well," he said, motioning to the bartender. "Whether you are or not can be easily determined over a drink. You up for sake tonight?"

"What's the occasion?" she asked, mentally balancing her bank account.

"Oh, well, this dear friend of yours is leaving on a terribly dangerous mission tomorrow, leaving you, my sweet damsel, to do nothing but sit and await my return."

"The stress is just unbearable." She thanked the bartender when their sake arrived. "Kakashi seems to think you'll be sitting around with your thumbs up your asses."

Genma poured a round for he and the Hokage's assistant, who sat slumped over the table, head resting in her hands. He lifted his glass in the air, and she raised an eyebrow.

"To what should we toast tonight, sweetheart?" he asked.

She snorted. "To Mr. Ukki."

It was Genma's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Kakashi's plant?"

"No. My plant now. I hijacked it when Kakashi almost killed it. It's a freaking cactus, Genma. Thought to be totally un-killable."

"Kakashi's got some talent."

"But, the way it is, Mr. Ukki's the only thing in my life that doesn't make me want to throw myself out a window. A very, very high window."

"Fair enough. I get to make a toast, too."

"Well, if you're just gonna go ahead and make the rules now, too—"

"To Rika-san."

Sakura slammed her head down on the table. "I have gone almost three whole hours without hearing that name, and you just have to go and—"

"It's karma, Sakura. If you talk or think ill of someone, throw a toast in their name and you won't be horribly punished later on."

"I think whoever's in charge of dishing out the karma has started early." She stared at his blissfully moronic expression and sighed heavily, lifting her glass. "Fine. To Rika. May your jugs always be bouncy and your head stay attached to your body, for your own sake."

"Ah. That's the spirit." They drank, the sake warming her belly. Genma slammed his glass down and began to pour them another round. His head began to feel a bit fuzzy—admitting quietly to himself that he was getting older—and he felt a pang of sympathy for the beautiful girl in front of him with the health of a woman twice her age. No shinobi expected this chosen life to be a cakewalk, but it had been particularly hard on Sakura who had to battle extraordinarily high expectations since the day she was teamed with the Uchiha and the Nine-Tails.

"Cheer up, sunshine. It's the weekend, and you won't have to be anywhere near the tower til' Monday."

Sakura smiled. He was certainly making a valiant effort. "Thanks, Genma. Whether you're being nice because you empathize with my pain or because I'm picking up the tab, I thank you nonetheless for your attempts to make me not want to stab myself in the face with a scalpel."

He grinned, and they clinked glasses once again. "My pleasure." He brought the glass to his lips, and his smile suddenly fell, his eyes widening as Kakashi and Rika entered the pub, taking a seat at the far end of the bar.

"Ah, shit."

Sakura's head tilted back with her drink. She opened her eyes, head upside-down, and nearly dropped her glass.

Oh. Oh. Of course. Her eyes shot back to Genma, pleading.

"Why, Genma? I am a good, good person—"

He patted her shoulder as he poured her another. Quickly. "I know, I know—"

"All I wanted was to just come here with you, my _good_ friend, and have a couple drinks and not think about anything to do with work, ever. Or at least until Monday."

"I know, I know—"

"And look who's here. And who she's with. I don't even know who to be mad at, Dumb or Dumber."

"Who is who?"

"I can't even decide."

"Ah, point taken. Well, I wouldn't read too much into it—"

"There's nothing to interpret; it's pretty obvious, isn't it?" She threw back another glass and held it out for Genma to refill, which he did, like his life depended on it. Because it did. "Kakashi's macking it on Rika, who he knows is, like, the bane of my existence, and therefore wants to punish me for something, and wow, this sake is tasty."

Genma bit his bottom lip as Sakura began to reach for the entire bottle and glanced over at the couple in the opposite corner in deep conversation interspersed with Rika's laughter. "It's probably nothing. Business."

Sakura coughed. "Business. Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I guess that was a pretty lame excuse, sorry."

"Ugh. Whatever." Sakura peeked over her shoulder at Kakashi, who hadn't taken down his mask, but his eye crinkled in a way that made Sakura's face hot—and not in the drunk, obliviously happy way. She leaned forward, resting her head on the edge of the table. "Tell me when they start making out so I can make my exit."

"Kakashi's not like that—"

"Like hell he's not. One time, we were on a mission and said we 'had to split up' because the mission required several lookout points. Naruto left his post to take a piss and Kakashi was screwing some maid at the inn we were staying at. _In our bathroom_. We were _twelve_, Genma. _Twelve_."

Genma took in a long breath. Why he couldn't just have a nice drink with a pretty girl was beyond him. Especially when said pretty girl was face down on the table and most likely feeling a bit shitty about herself. Genma had been around a number of women in his lifetime, and learned that nothing simultaneously induced panic and perplexity quite like a depressed, drunk girl.

Not to mention, if he (accidentally, or not) managed to piss of this particular girl, he would immediately get a fist of a thousand furies to the face.

He waited for several minutes for her to engage with him in conversation again, but her face remained on the table. Although, he did notice a visible twitch whenever Rika's laughter rang throughout the pub.

"I think now is a fantastic time to leave," Genma said carefully, after twenty minutes or so had passed.

"That would be a good idea, I think," Sakura mumbled to the table. Without taking her forehead off the surface, she dug her hands into her purse and slid some money underneath the empty sake bottle.

"Come on, let's ninja out of here," Genma said, holding out his arms.

"No, I can do this myself," Sakura assured him as she planted her hand on the table for leverage.

Only, she misjudged the location of the table, and flew into the floor.

"Damniiiit," she cursed, side of her cheek resting on the wood. At least it was cool.

"Oh, boy," Genma sighed, leaning over and offering his hand. The bartender, alerted by the rather noisy commotion, peered over the bar.

"Ninjas…" he muttered, shaking his head and resuming his work.

"The hell's it to you, old man?!" Genma shot back, perturbed.

"Genma, why'dja go and move the goddamn table all the way over there?" Sakura whined, still immobile. She sniffled, then sneezed. "God, this floor is filthy."

"For the love of Lucy, get up, then!" Genma cried desperately, gesticulating wildly.

"I would, but I don't want to touch the floor!"

"If you haven't noticed, babe, _you are lying on it_."

"This is all your fault. Somehow, this is all your fault."

"When I said I could drink you under the table, I didn't mean for you take it _literally_—"

"Oh, just wait, Shiranui. If I ever figure out where my bones went, I swear to god—"

"Need a hand?" came a familiar voice.

Sakura peered through the eye not on the floor. An outstretched hand of a silver-haired shinobi hovered in her sight, and she grumbled, turning her head the other way.

"Hello, Kakashi," Sakura greeted the wall. "Fancy meeting you here. Genma and I were just leaving."

"Sakura-san!" Rika chimed in, to Sakura's utter delight. "Do you want some water? I hear drinking lots of water prevents hangovers—"

"I'm not drunk!" Sakura insisted, and she rolled over, sitting up and slamming her head on the underside of the table.

"Owww," she moaned, flopping back on the floor.

"All right, Sakura," Kakashi leaned in and hoisted her up to a standing position. Sakura breathed in his shirt, and happened upon a moment of clarity as to where she was, what exactly was going on, and whom precisely she was with.

Her face became hot and she pushed Kakashi away from her. She backed into the table, leaning on it as she attempted to be casual, holding her head high.

"Thank you," she mumbled, almost inaudible, smiling with her teeth. She looked up through her bangs that currently sagged in front of her eyes and saw Kakashi staring at her; his head tilted a bit, arms out in case she bowled over again. Rika stood behind him, hand on his shoulder, peering down at Sakura with concern.

They both looked so…_concerned_.

Her anger flared again, suddenly. She wasn't going to be the desperate one. This was all so stupid. _Kakashi_ was the pathetic one. It was beyond her why he'd ditch her and bring Rika to the bar instead, and it infuriated her to a level she didn't understand. Which, in turn, made her more angry that she didn't understand herself in the first place. She was _just fine_, thank you very much! She smoothed out her skirt and inhaled sharply, quickly adverting her eyes away from the two dolts in front of her.

"Let's go, Genma," Sakura said, grabbing his hand and leading him out the door.

Genma threw Kakashi one last "what the fuck?" look before being dragged out of the bar. Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed.

"I hope Sakura-san is okay," Rika said, once they had watched the two exit.

"She'll be fine," Kakashi said. "I've seen her worse." He stood fully and lightly pressed her lower back. "I'll walk you home."

Rika giggled. "My parents live _right _across the street."

"Chivalry wasn't dead, last time I checked."

Kakashi paid the tab (twice in a week—maybe he _was_ becoming a pushover) and walked out of the bar with Rika beside him. The cool air felt nice on his face, but his mask stayed on.

Twenty yards down the street, they arrived at a modest apartment, marked 107, the "7" barely hanging on by a single screw.

"Well, thanks for everything, Kakashi-san," Rika said, smiling. "We'll see you back soon, and with a full, detailed mission report, right?"

"Footnotes and everything, " Kakashi smirked. He nodded. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight!" She quietly entered and closed the door behind her, careful not to wake her parents.

Kakashi stepped down from the small stair and walked out onto the street. His thoughts strayed from that night to the next morning. He needed to shower, pack, leave food out for Pakkun (that freeloader), clean the bathroom—

His heart stopped when he heard a shriek in the distance. He squinted ahead to see two figures in the distance. One was on the ground, ass in the air, the other flailing about wildly.

Chuckling to himself, he made note to also leave two aspirin and a bottle of water by Sakura's window sill before they left Konoha.

Meanwhile, the side of Sakura's face had met the ground once more, and Genma picked her up easily, throwing her over her shoulder.

"Can do it all by yourself, huh?" he jabbed.

"Did anyone else see that besides you?" she asked the back of Genma's jounin vest.

"Nope, I'm just lucky enough to be the only witness."

"Okay, good, because that just took everything out of me not to fly ass over elbows in front of them. Again."

Genma laughed lightly. "Hang on."

Flying over rooftops (to Sakura's stomach's horror), he carried her the short distance to her apartment, landing by her bedroom window with ease. He laid her out on the bed and began to take her shoes off.

"How th'fuck did you get those strappy things off so fast?" Sakura mumbled, already half asleep.

"Practice." He laid her socks next to her shoes at the foot of the bed, pulling a coversheet over her.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Sakura asked.

"I haven't decided." He leaned in to fluff the pillow behind her head. From this angle, the moonlight glazed her hair in silver tones and covered her face in a pale sheet, and for a moment she wasn't the brat that had hung around Kakashi for the past dozen years. He recognized this as he took a moment to watch sleep overtake her deceivingly fragile frame.

"If you even lay one finger on me, I'll have Kakashi pee in your canteen."

"A man can't get a break, can he?" He laughed and walked towards the window. He stopped with a hand came down on his.

"Thanks, Genma. Please don't tell me about any of this tomorrow. Or, ever."

A smile couldn't help but tug the corners of his mouth. "Goodnight, Pinky."

Her face screwed up at the abhorred nickname, but she was too tired to move an inch. Genma waited until she was good and drooling before leaving, closing the window latch carefully.

* * *

A week later, Friday had arrived once more, and Sakura was quickly finishing things up at the office so that she could meet up with Kakashi for a drink. Since he had returned from his mission (two days, thumbs up asses, check, check), Sakura's schedule had been so hectic that it was the only time that week she could manage to see him. Between emergency surgeries and the extra work that had come up when Naruto had come down with the flu (seriously—the Nine Tails. With the flu. What the hell.), Sakura had called out of her late evening shift at the hospital and she was home free.

She was about to punch her time card when she realized that she hadn't checked the mail that day. Pushing her bangs out of her face, she descended the stairs to the mailroom one last time to collect today's correspondence.

Things had been just as peachy as they always had been with Rika, so when Sakura entered the mailroom to see the blonde wobbling in her heels with an armful of mail, her right eye began that all-too-familiar twitch.

"Hi, Rika," Sakura managed through her teeth.

Startled, Rika jumped, losing her grip on the piles of letters.

"Oh, good afternoon, Sakura-san—oohhh!!!"

The mail slid through her arms and fell to the floor, a few stray letters floating to the ground in its wake. Sakura inhaled. Deeply. She stooped to begin picking it all up, Rika apologizing fast and furiously behind her, stuffing letters into her cleavage (ugh) and pockets frantically.

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry!" Rika yelped, scooping up a small package in her arms.

"It's fine," Sakura snipped. God, her back ached.

"I just remembered that we hadn't gotten the mail today after Naruto-sama's lunch, because he got so sick suddenly—"

"Uh-huh…" Sakura mumbled, half-listening. Or, not at all, really. She picked up a familiar letter in a yellow envelope, its address she had carefully printed with blue ink scratched out with dark ink, the word "Return to Sender," in all capitals.

Hm. She opened the letter, general "uh-huh"ing at Rika's constant chatter ensuing.

"And then I told Naruto-sama that there was no _way_ it could have been the onigiri, because both you and I had had at least two each and we weren't sick at all…"

As Rika continued gathering the rest of the mail, Sakura opened the letter, a small post-it note inside with perfect block lettering on which read:

"Haruno-san: While I appreciate thank yous in many forms, I'm afraid this one in particular was ill-directed. Nice clip, though. –Ibiki."

Sakura peered into the envelope to find a letter, attached with a single pink paper clip.

That's weird. If Ibiki received Gaara-sama's letter, then—

Oh.

"Rika," Sakura said slowly, the pieces coming together. Unfortunately.

She stopped her frantic movements to address Sakura. "Yes, Sakura-san?"

"Rika, do you remember when I asked you to send this letter?"

Sakura held it up between two fingers. Rika squinted, then nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes! I remember! It was a letter to the Kazekage!"

Sakura closed her eyes. "And do you remember the _other_ letter I asked you to send on that same day? It was kind of hefty—but similar envelope?"

Rika's eyes crossed in her efforts to remember—or maybe she was just looking at her bangs, either way—then cocked her head to the side.

"It was to Morino Ibiki," Sakura continued, through gritted teeth. "I asked you to label it, 'Confidential.' As in, it's secret. As in, it contains information for Morino Ibiki's eyes _only_ and if it got into someone else's hands, my ass would be on the line?"

She paused, and then her eyes lit up in sudden realization. "I remember."

Sakura held up the letter once more. "Pink paper clip. Gaara-sama. Confidential letter. Ibiki-san. That's what I said, right?"

Rika nodded slowly, coming to terms with the fact that she most likely made a very large error that was causing Sakura's body to convulse rather intensely. And probably not out of glee.

"Well. I just got a letter returned to me. The letter for Gaara-sama. But it wasn't returned to me from Suna. Could you take a _wild_ guess and tell me who received the letter with the pink. Paper. Clip!?"

The blonde winced. "…um…Morino-san?" she squeaked.

"That's right, Rika. Very smart of you. And now, could you venture a guess as to the location of the _extremely confidential_ files that needed to be send to Morino-san?"

Tears began to well in Rika's eyes. "To Suna?"

Sakura's hands began to shake. "Right again, Rika. Information about Konoha's _classified_ interrogation techniques are on their way, if not already there, to the leader of Suna. Although we are in peaceful times, can you see how this would be a problem?"

"Sakura-san, it was a mistake—" Rika began.

Sakura laughed, throwing the letter on the ground. "Obviously. It was a big fucking mistake, Rika. And you know who's going to get nailed for it?" Sakura pointed to her chest. "Me. It's going to be _my_ fault for something my _subordinate_ did. You didn't _think_ about the implications of this mistake, _did you_?"

"But—but, Sakura-san, like you said, the envelopes were very similar, and I did my best to make sure that they were separate—"

Sakura slammed her hand on the mailroom table, letters flying everywhere. "Tell me you're joking."

She took one look at Rika's teary, unwavering guilty expression and knew it was anything but.

"I'm so, so sorry, Sakura-san—" Rika began, voice trembling.

"Stop," Sakura said firmly, lips pressing together into a thin line. She slumped over, her anger boiling and making her whole body hot, her temples pulsating. "Just. Just don't say anything."

"Please, Sakura-san, I didn't mean—"

"I'm sure you didn't mean anything. You never mean anything. You aren't ever _anything_, I know, I know!" She was furious, and blood shot to her head, a headache bulleting through her brain. "Rika, it's been two months, and you just _can't_ make mistakes like this! I don't know if we can keep you here anymore; it's just not working out."

The two stood there, staring at each other, the mail lying in a disorganized pile between them. Sakura expected Rika to either burst into tears or run away, or hopefully a combination of both; she did not expect Rika to slap her across the face.

"Ow!" Sakura cried, taking a step back. She was too surprised to move, standing still while the tall girl loomed over her.

"Sakura-san," Rika began, her voice wavering slightly, gaining confidence as she continued. "I have done everything in my power to do whatever you and Naruto-sama ask, because that is my new job. I just ran my parent's takoyaki stand because that's all I could really do. My parents couldn't afford fancy universities, or any university. When they found out I was working for the Hokage, they were so proud of me. That never happened before. I want this job more than anything. You've never seen me do anything wrong before, and I don't know why you would fire anyone after only one mistake. It was a big, big mistake, and I am so sorry, I really, really am."

Sakura stared. Her mind flipped through the past two months, and she had to admit, even though Rika annoyed the shit out of her, and her boobs were always on display, and she _did_ slam Sakura's head into the door by accident, she had never actually done anything _wrong_. Her paperwork was a little sloppy, but always thorough, she was never late, and she even knew how Sakura liked her coffee.

"And I know," Rika continued. "I know you hate me. I don't know why you hate me, but I knew that you always did."

"Well, um, hate is a very strong word, Rika—" Sakura started.

"Kakashi-san told me himself that you despise me," she said quickliy.

"…oh." _God damn that old man,_ Sakura thought. She made a mental note to accidently slam his balls into a table or something of equivalent discomfort next time she saw him.

"It's okay though," Rika said. "That's why I asked Kakashi-san to talk to me that night you—you, um…"

"…made out with the floor?" Sakura finished.

"Yeah." Rika broke the stare, and bent her head, looking down at her hands that fiddled with the chipping polish of her nails. "Naruto-sama said that you and Kakashi were very close, and I thought that the one person who could help me figure out a way for you to like me was him. I had tried just about everything I could think of." Tears started to run down her face.

Sakura's face fell. This wasn't the way she thought things would happen; Rika was crying, and she felt like absolute shit about it.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura-san!," Rika continued through quiet sobs. "And I'm sorry I just hit you, I'm so, so sorry! I just love this job, and you're firing me just because I'm not as smart, or as pretty as you, and you hate me, and it's not right! It's not right at all!"

Well. That "not as pretty bit" was news to Sakura. She took her hand from her face and stepped towards Rika, putting her hand on her shoulder. "Listen. I obviously made a mistake, too. And our two mistakes just cancelled each other out, and now there's none. Nothing. Let's just forget anything happened. Okay?"

Rika nodded and blew her nose into a bill from the power company (they overcharge, anyway). "Okay."

"I'll call Gaara-sama in the morning and explain things, and Ibiki will hopefully be generous and not draw and quarter me. Problem solved." Sakura took a deep breath and attempted a smile, which somewhat resembled a pained expression. It was the effort that counted, right? "You're not fired, Rika."

Rika beamed and wiped her eyes, smudging eyeliner on her brow. "Really?"

"Yes, really."

Rika clotheslined Sakura with a hug and she began jumping up and down simultaneously, jostling mail everywhichwhere. "Thank you so much, Sakura-san!"

"No problem," Sakura wheezed. "The choke-hold's a little much, though, Rika."

Rika let go and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. And, um, again…I'm sorry about the slap."

"It's all right. I'm a ninja; I should've avoided that."

"I was a little surprised, I have to admit."

They shared a small laugh, and Sakura sighed, overlooking the pile of mail. "Let's get the mail up to the office. And then, I need a drink."

Rika smiled and reached into her purse. "Actually, remember when I said I asked Kakashi-san about getting you on my good side?" She pulled a bottle of barrel-aged sake from her purse. The good kind. The kind that Sakura could slam down and feel like a superhero for the night.

"This is my favorite!" Sakura said, holding the bottle in disbelief.

"He said that even if you still hated me, at least you'd be drunk enough to forget for a little while."

Sakura cradled the bottle like a baby (a beautiful, potent baby). "He knows me well."

* * *

One bottle of superhero power-enducing sake later, Sakura and Rika sat on the floor of the Hokage's office, shoes off and laughing at a joke, most likely forgetting why it was funny or who told it in the first place. Rika leaned in close to Sakura suddenly.

"I know we're friends and everything now, but please don't make out with me," Sakura said, suppressing giggles. "My last dry spell ended in a tumble with Ino, and she's definitely the jealous type."

Rika laughed in a barking kind of way that was actually pretty endearing. "Sakura-san, I need to confess something to you!"

"Listen, just a minute ago, you said I was pretty and smart, and I don't know if my fragile heart can handle all this adoration—"

"Sakura-san, I'm serious!" She leaned in to whisper in Sakura's ear, in spite of the fact that they were the only two left in the building except the Hokage himself (who was most likely laid out in bed with his stomach pooching out and a half-eaten bowl of ramen on the nightstand). "I think I have feelings for Naruto-sama."

Sakura's cheeks blew up, her mouth closed tight and eyes wide open, a vain attempt to hold in her laughter. She quickly glanced over at Rika to make sure she wasn't joking and then burst into uncontrollable giggles.

"_Naruto_?!" Sakura said incredulously. "Are you serious?"

Rika's face fell into a rather pathetic and desperate expression.

"…sorry," Sakura mumbled, clearing her throat and maintaining her composure. Or trying to. "Well, uh, does he know that you like him…like that?"

Rika shook her head. "I've tried giving him…signals, but it doesn't seem to be working very well."

"Uh, well…what kind of 'signals' are you sending? He's not the most, uh, receptive person, you know."

"Well…how do you get a someone's attention?"

"Um. 'Hey!' and general wild flailing usually work."

"You know what I mean! There's, like, certain things you do when you wanna flirt with someone."

Sakura sighed and looked at Rika blankly. "Rika, my usual company is a ramen-obsessed Hokage, a horny, orally-fixated old man, and an anti-social, one-eyed, no-faced porn reader. And people wonder why I'm single."

Rika laughed, and quickly covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, that was mean of me."

"No offense taken. Anyway, the most effective way to get Naruto to understand that you have feelings for him is to tell him directly. He's, um…distracted pretty often, and may not realize unless you just let him know yourself. Believe me, he'll probably be thrilled."

Rika nodded slowly in understanding. "Okay. I think I could do that." She suddenly sat back down against the wall and started snickering.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "To what, may I ask, are you sniggering at, Rika-san?"

The blonde twirled her hair around her finger. "Oh, I was just wondering when you were going to confess your feelings to Kakashi-san."

Sakura bolted off the floor and spun to face Rika in horror (which was all a very impressive move, when the floor and ceiling and walls melted together in her eyeballs). "What the hell did he say to you?"

Rika shrieked in delight. "So you _do_ have feelings for him! I was just guessing."

Sakura's mouth opened and closed. "I have no such feelings. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't care about any of this! This is why I don't have any girl friends; it's all talk about boys and giggling and naked pillow fights and—"

"Well, maybe you'd like to know what Kakashi-san thinks of you?" Rika baited.

Sakura was hooked. She stopped talking, stopped waving her arms around. She pursed her lips and crouched down in front of Rika. "Go on," she said slowly.

Rika smiled, her eyes practically glittering. "Well, you know how I asked him to help me be likeable to you?"

"Apparently, all it takes is a bottle of sake to get the ball rolling—"

"Shh! Sakura-san, he said that he thought that you may have felt a little…um…" she looked away suddently. "Threatened. By me."

Sakura's face fell. "Cold, Kakashi. Very cold."

"But! I said that couldn't possibly be true. And he said, and I quote, 'Sakura doesn't know how beautiful she actually is.'"

She pushed her pink hair out of her face, and gave Rika a look. "You're not fucking with me, right?"

"No, Sakura-san."

"So, you think that Kakashi has feelings for me? Signals, and everything?"

"Yes. I've been good at this my whole life."

"How old are you, Rika?"

"Seventeen."

"…Right." Sakura sat down and contemplated this new information. There was a possibility that Kakashi cared about her in…in this _way_ that included romantic lovey-dovey things that Ino had talked to her about at some point but she had neglected to care about when there were so many new poisons to create antidotes for. She supposed the thought of Kakashi and her in this _way_ didn't make her feel sick or strange, and that was a plus.

But what it also meant was that Kakashi had failed to mention to her that he felt this way. They had made a pact as mission partners that they would be direct and disclose everything to each other, and this _definitely_ fell under the "things-Sakura-needs-to-know" category. Which meant, essentially, Kakashi had failed to uphold the pact, and purposely made her out to be a floundering idiot, what, with his offhand remarks that made her blush like a moron and his annoying unexpected hug from behind that made her heart beat through her chest. He was making her look like an idiot! On purpose!

Sakura was ticked. "That ass is going to be in trouble next time I see him."

"Well," Rika said, backing away. "That's usually not the reaction when someone realizes that the person that they really care about feels the same way—"

"He's making me out to be a fool, and what's worse, he's _getting away with it_." Sakura stood and her head spun deliciously.

"I don't think that—"

"No! This is _just_ the kind of thing that he would do!" She crossed her arms and looked towards the ceiling contemplatively. "That conniving son of a—"

"Ah, Sakura-san—"

"No! You don't know him like I do, Rika. He is very smart—_too_ smart—and he's just toying with me. I know it! And he's just waiting until I get into a precarious situation and start babbling things that don't make any sense and I turn into some kind of lovestruck school girl."

"So…you should really give him a piece of your mind." There was a gleam in her eye that Sakura missed as she paced the room in a frenzy of thought and anger.

"Yes! Yes I should. This is ridiculous. Who does he think he is?"

"I don't know, Sakura-san."

"Of all people, I should know about this."

"Definitely."

Sakura stopped pacing and looked at Rika. "Are you just agreeing with me for the sake of agreeing with me?"

Rika put her hands up in defense. "No, no! Actually—weren't you supposed to meet Kakashi-san for a drink?"

Sakura's hand flew up to her face. "Shit, you're right. Oh, man, he's gonna get it!" She marched over to her desk and pulled on the cardigan that hung on the back of her desk chair.

"That's right," Rika encouraged, pumping her fist in the air.

Sakura left in a huff, mumbling things along the lines as "That jerk doesn't even know what's coming" and "That pretty face of his'll need to _stay_ covered as soon as I'm done with him."

The door slammed behind her, and Rika sighed, a small smile on her lips.

That was easy enough.

-tbc-

_Thanks for reading--please review if you have the time!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Office Duties (4/4)  
**Author:** alifestylechoice   
**Fandom:** Naruto (Kakashi/Sakura)   
**Rating:** PG-13 (Keepin' it clean. This time.)  
**Words:** 3,219  
**Summary:** ""Sakura, you've made your point. I'm an old pervert. However, the entire village figured it out before you, so I'm a little disappointed that it took you this long to catch on."

_A/N: As I said in my profile, I've been going through some rough times as of late, and I hope that most of the stress and hardship is (mostly) over. Thank you for your patience—I hope you enjoy the last part here. It was a long time coming. :D_

* * *

**Office Duties  
Part Four**

Kakashi slipped on a fresh blue shirt from the dryer when he heard the unmistakable bludgeoning of his front door.

Ah, Sakura.

Although it was a bit more forceful than usual, he figured it was just the urgency to escape to the pub that rattled his doorframe, and he opened the door with a smile.

That smile was wiped off his face with a single uppercut to the jaw that sent him flying across the kitchen and into the side of the gray recliner by his window. His body ricocheted off the footrest and he lay unmoving on the ground. Closing his eyes in agony, he heard the door slam shut followed by Sakura's determined footsteps across his floor.

"Hello," he offered, groggily. Cracking open his eyes once the initial pain had subsided, he saw the looming figure of one Haruno Sakura above him.

"And you call yourself a shinobi," she muttered, crossing her arms.

He attempted to sit up but was thwarted once again by the bottom sole of Sakura's shoe cutting into his collarbone. He winced and grabbed her ankle firmly.

"Are you going to give some kind of explanation for all this, or is there a certain quota of shit you have to beat out of me?"

"Don't tempt me," Sakura deadpanned. She slapped his hand away from her ankle and stepped back. Inhaling deeply, she attempted to quell the fire that ran through her veins. Instead, it raged forward, twofold. "Do you think I'm an idiot?"

Kakashi sat up slowly in case he had to parry another attack, holding his head in his hands. This was one of those questions that fell along the same lines as "Am I fat?" or "Who do you think is hotter—me or my sister?" and he knew that pretty much whatever he could come up with was wrong. "No. Maybe a bit brutal, but—"

"Do you like me?"

Hello, left field.

Kakashi's brow furrowed as he squinted up at her. "This is another trick question, isn't it?"

"No, it's actually full of non-trickery."

"Ah, well, where is the little folded sheet of paper where I check 'yes' or 'no'?"

"This isn't funny, Kakashi." She shifted her weight, her hip cocked and fingers drumming the kitchen counter. Loudly.

He sighed and leaned back against the recliner, head falling against the armrest. "When you're not inflicting physical abuse, I think you're a very nice girl."

"You're avoiding," she pointed out.

He tilted his head a bit. "Wait, are you drunk right now?"

"You're avoiding," she repeated, frustration spiking.

"Well, I'm a little hurt that you started without me—"

"Kakashi, this is kind of important. You promised."

He sighed again, pulling up his headband and rubbing both his eyes. "Sakura, I am an old man, and old men don't go around 'liking' anybody."

"Yeah, tell that to your buddy, Shiranui," Sakura muttered. "He does his fare share of 'liking.' In fact, his neighbors seem to complain pretty often about the frequency and volume of his 'liking'—"

"Don't get the wrong idea. Some men are lucky enough to push past their prime. Others spend the rest of their days with a pug and a cactus."

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Which I took from you."

Kakashi's sat up quickly, eyes whipping around to the view the empty windowsill. "Mr. Ukki! What happened to him?!"

"I stole him away almost two years ago. Obviously, you haven't missed him too horribly."

"I loved Mr. Ukki…" he mumbled wistfully, lying back down.

"You are the most frustrating man in the whole world—"

"Not while Naruto's around, I'm not."

She leaned onto her forearms, her head resting on the counter. "God, this is just like that time when you set me up on that blind date with Awkward Civilian Boy—"

"How was I supposed to know the boy smelled like turnips?"

"Or, that time when the only story you could think of when we were undercover in Ame was that I was your hired _prostitute_—"

"Funny how everybody seemed to buy it, though…" he said, rubbing his chin with his forefinger and thumb.

"Or, that time you pants-ed me at Genma's birthday party—

"His idea, completely," Kakashi informed her.

"Yes, _completely humiliating_. And then, I was about to clock you in the head when you and him ran into the bathroom like little sissies—who _knows_ what you two were doing in _there_ together—"

"Oh, no, we learned our lesson. But, how were _we_ to know that it was laundry day, Miss Commando?"

Sakura's face flared red. "_The point is_," she began. "That you _do_ things like that to make me feel uncomfortable, because your sick, _sick_ mind gets some kind of perverse pleasure out of making me look like a blazing idiot."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kakashi said, eyes to the ceiling.

"Well," Sakura started, lifting her head and facing Kakashi where he remained sprawled out on the floor. "What the hell was up with the whole reach-around-key-finding thing you pulled last week?"

"You were obliterated, so I helped you find your key—"

"You _could_ have just taken my keys and opened the door for me. You know. Sans body contact."

"I didn't think it would make a difference," Kakashi said.

"But what about that thing you said to me at the bar," Sakura said quickly, cheeks burning in spite of her efforts to remain focused on the matter at hand. The effect he had upon her was simultaneously exciting and infuriating. "Like. Like the thing you said about me being…ah, God…"

"About you being very pretty?"

"…I think the wording was 'attractive while utterly tanked,' but 'very pretty' I can deal with, too."

"Sakura, I'm sure you say nice things to Ino. Even Naruto."

She snorted.

"On occasion," Kakashi corrected himself. "Don't get upset. It didn't mean anything."

Sakura paused, chose her words carefully. Her eyes bored into the kitchen counter. "Yeah, well…I am. And, it did. To me."

Kakashi sat up. His entire face was exposed to her now, and she breathed in before facing him directly. He wasn't the bubble-lipped, hairy-moled, disfigured abomination that team seven had drawn up in their heads. She'd seen the reality of their hearsay and invention for years now, and although his face wasn't the most handsome she'd ever seen, it certainly wasn't painful to look at. His eyes had been dark-lidded and tired for as long as she could remember; the scar that cut through his left was as familiar to her as the freckles she'd memorized on her own body. Perhaps the reason he covered his face was because the ridges of his jaw and the crease of his brow told a story that was always honest, in spite of his words.

He looked at her now, his face narrating something between an understanding and an apology.

"And I know it's been, like, this game. This fun game, to poke fun of me. Ever since we were genin. I'm not out to ruin your fun. But when you do these things and say these things—when you toy with me like…like _that_—it hurts, a little. A lot."

He took a minute to digest this new information. She had become a very straightforward woman once they had become mission partners, and although her words were steady and logical as usual, he knew these kind of things that dealt with emotions and feelings were foreign to her. Therefore, the sweat on her fair, wide brow and the way she chewed the inside of her cheek were results of the stress that, Sakura believed, he had placed on her shoulders.

Kakashi supposed that when Sakura spent her youth being rejected by her first love and underestimated by her teammates, her teenage years buried in medical books and following around an explosive Hokage, and her current days filled with office duties at the hospital or the Tower, she most likely didn't have time to think about feelings, or having them, or what to do when faced with them.

He knew that his outward emotions tended to be along the scale of "indifferent" to "really indifferent," so he assumed he should probably break his silence soon before Sakura got too anxious.

"Sakura," he began. "Come here."

She hesitated. "Why?"

"Well, I thought that since most of the violence is hopefully over, we could talk face to face like normal people."

Sakura looked over her shoulder and squinted. "The light's in your eye, isn't it?"

"That, too."

She smiled and sat down cross-legged in front of him. "Better?"

"Much."

"Can't be putting strain on your neck now, I know it's sensitive."

"It is, it is." He massaged his eye casually with the knuckle of his left hand—he was decidedly too old for this. "Sakura, about all this—"

"Wait, is something really wrong with your eye?"

He stopped rubbing, thoughts interrupted. "Uh, nothing, I was just—"

"Let me look at it." Before he could refuse, she raised to her knees and scooted closer, holding his head in her hands; her left was on his scalp and her right cradled the side of his face, thumb grazing his scar.

"It's not really anything," Kakashi said, distracted by the curve of her neck which was suddenly very tempting and close.

"Yeah, the last time you said that, I believe you almost hemorrhaged and died. Who's the medic here?"

She smiled down at him and went back to investigating his borrowed eye. It amazed him that here, even in a situation of her own confusion and discomfort, she managed to do what she had done for the majority of her life, which was neglecting her own worries for the sake of her loved ones.

His scope of vision kept flickering to her lips, barely open, tongue pressed against the back of her front teeth.

"Keep your eye steady," she scolded. "Just look at me."

Well, at least the view was nice. His hand absently fell onto her thigh and she tensed, then relaxed into the touch. It was familiar and warm.

He inhaled deeply (ah, Sakura had had barrel-aged sake…) and closed his eyes. No turning back now.

"Hey, why'd you close your eyes, there's—"

He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. Her mouth opened in initial shock, and he took advantage of it, sealing their mouths together. She tasted sweet, with a touch of spice. His hands pressed against her lower back, which stiffened along with the rest of her body. He smiled against her mouth, which slowly softened against his.

_Maybe I haven't lost it, yet_, he mused.

After a moment, he sat back, hands winding around her hips, and Sakura remained unmoving, her eyes open wide.

"—there's, ah, three popped blood vessels, so, um, don't irritate it any more if you can manage." She swallowed and sat back on her knees.

"I think I can manage."

She stared at each other for some time. Kakashi felt another potential punch in the face, so he braced himself for impact.

Sakura saw his face twitch and twist, and she felt a giggle rumble in the pit of her belly. Her cheeks puffed up and she smacked her hand against her mouth to prevent any laughter from escaping.

This failed miserably and Kakashi stared as she fell to the floor on her side, convulsing on the floor in gales of giggles.

Kakashi sighed and sat back. "How drunk _are_ you?"

"Oh, god—ahaha—it's—ahahaha!!!" Sakura wheezed. Kakashi raised an eyebrow as her giggle fit deceased, and she crumpled into a ball on the floor, face smushed into the carpet. "Your face! Ahahahah!!!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Thank you. It's a good thing I don't cover my face up or anything, or else that might have really stung."

Sakura waved at him, the last of her laughter finally depleting.

"I'm—hehe—I'm so sorry," she apologized. She cracked her eyes open, face against the floor. She lifted a shaking arm, pointing at Kakashi's unamused face. "Rika was right. You _like_ me."

Kakashi started . "Say again?"

"Oh, we're friends now."

He hung his head. "I will never understand—"

"I talked it over with Rika," she went on. "And we agreed that you totally have the hots for me, and that pervy move you just pulled proves us right."

She collapsed in a fit of laughter again, punctuated with some very eager snorts, and Kakashi ground his teeth bitterly.

"So, what you're saying," he said calmly. "Is that I just fell for your ploy to get some kind of love confession out of me?" Her continued chuckling confirmed his theory and he slowly got up and went to the kitchen. A bourbon sounded quite nice right about now.

"Oh, don't get your panties in a wad," Sakura sputtered from the floor.

"They are wad-less," Kakashi muttered, dropping ice into a glass.

She choked down a giggle. "You wear panties?"

"Sakura, you've made your point. I'm an old pervert. However, the entire village figured it out before you, so I'm a little disappointed that it took you this long to catch on."

Sakura sat up from the floor, blowing hair out of her face. "Well, what would you say if I told you that I would check 'yes', too?"

"That's good, everyone should like themselves—"

"No, no! About _you_, dumbass."

Kakashi poured himself a small glass. "Then, I would have to throw that dumbass comment right back at you." He smirked and took a sip. "I've known you since you were twelve. Maybe you have daddy issues—"

"Oh, come on, it's not my fault that _you_ decided that I'm _so_ irresistible—"

"I changed my mind. You're a manipulative beast of a woman. Go home."

Sakura stood and crossed her arms over her chest. "How can you tell me to go home after I just said that I like you, too?"

He downed another glass, a satisfied "ah" escaping his lips. "Like this. Go home."

She gasped. "I will not give you the satisfaction! You know you totally like me. And you've given me absolutely no reason to reciprocate."

"Here comes the laundry list of—"

"You are constantly late, and ignorant, and will take time out of your way only to contribute to my personal misery—

"Really, you're winning me over here magnificently."

"—and the next time we kiss, it had _better _not be after you've had a meal of garlic and pesto."

He slammed down his glass on the counter, but couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Fine."

"Fine!" Sakura yelped, throwing up her arms. "And zip up your pants; your fly's been down this whole time."

He remained unmoving, and cocked his head to the side. "I didn't realize my crotch was of such great interest to you."

"You wish," spat back, flushing red.

"Go home, Sakura," he repeated. "Go to bed." He began to push her towards the doorway.

"Why?" She squirmed in his grasp, but he was strong and sober, and winning this game effortlessly.

"We have a mission in Ame tomorrow. The last thing I need is a hungover medic."

She opened and closed her mouth, and took one last look at him before he gave her a wink, then slammed the door in her face.

Standing on his porch, the night air felt good on her skin. Somehow, everything felt good right about now. No headache. No fatigue. She supposed the sake had something to do with it.

Sakura began walking back to her apartment. Crap, she should probably start packing.

* * *

"Do you have everything Sakura-san?"

Sakura pulled on her pack (which just about bowled her over) and adjusted the straps accordingly. She nodded and blew a stray strand of hair (white, to her dismay) out of her face. "You sure a week isn't too long?"

Rika smiled and patted Sakura reassuringly on the shoulder. "Not at all! I mean, what all could happen in just a week?"

At that moment, Naruto walked into the office with a toothbrush lodged into his palm, face a ghostly white.

"Sakura-san…" he mumbled, lips quivering.

The medic sighed, put down her pack and walked calmly over to the Hokage. "Well, at least you brush your teeth, that's good." She turned to Rika, whose face was similarly a pale shade of green. "If something like this happens, the hospital is just across the breezeway."

She molded chakra and began to push the toothbrush back through his hand, Rika and Naruto's faces turning a dull purple.

"Ask for Shizune-senpai, and she'll take care of it right away," Sakura continued, removing the toothbrush and tossing it into a nearby wastebasket. Naruto made a noise that resembled a garbled chipmunk. "You're gonna have to sanitize that trashcan, by the way."

Rika nodded furiously and took note.

"As for everything else, I think you guys look like you'll be okay without me for awhile." Naruto's hand glowed teal as skin and muscle cells began realigning. His hand was good as new and Sakura held it reassuringly. "So, until then, don't brush too rigorously, and keep each other sane until I get back. Okay?"

Naruto grinned weakly. "No problem, Sakura-chan!"

Downstairs, Kakashi and Genma awaited their medic, and when she arrived, the three exited the Tower, heading towards the gates. She looked back one last time (with prayers) to Rika and Naruto, waving enthusiastically from the top of the building. The sun felt good on her face. She decided that the children running around and being obnoxious would actually be a nice thing to come home to.

While quietly observing her surroundings, she had fallen out of step, and she scampered quickly to catch up, matching strides with Kakashi. He was reading his usual book, eyes scanning over pages he'd most likely memorized by now. She looked up at him and gave him a playful shove in the shoulder.

Kakashi looked over the top of _Icha Icha Lovestruck!_ and raised an eyebrow. "Didn't know you liked it rough."

Sakura's eyes widened and she leaned over, putting her hand over his mouth and looking sideways at Genma who was walking ten or twelve yards ahead of them.

"Don't worry, sweetheart," Genma called back to her without turning his head, words mangled by the ever-present senbon rolling around in his mouth. "Already informed that you're hot for teacher."

Sakura stopped in her tracks. "…what?"

Genma continued walking, nonchalantly. "It's cool. Kind of saw it coming. If you guys wanna get a little rowdy at night, don't mind me."

There was a spring in his step that brought Sakura's brow together (and set her face on fire). "He's acting a little…weird. And creepy. What the hell does he care what happens in our tent?" she asked Kakashi.

"Hn." Kakashi, nose back in his book, appeared indifferent as usual. "We only brought one tent."

He caught Sakura's pack as she flung it towards him, and as she took off after Genma, he couldn't help but think her screams of rage and vengeance were the sweetest music to his ears.

He hoped to god that when they returned to Konoha, Naruto wasn't hanging off the monument by his underpants.

_-fin-_

* * *

_Thank you for reading--please review if you have the time! _


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